I’ll have to think about it.

So one of my favorite movies of all time is The Dark Knight. A classic line in that movie is when the Joker asks the question “Why so serious?” It’s an epic and creepy line, mostly because he is holding a knife in his hand and telling a story about how he got his scars on his face.

Recently, I’ve been asked that question a few times. “Why so serious?” Or it comes in other forms like “Why do you have to think so much? Or it comes in statements like “Stop thinking so much” “Stop over analyzing things” “just chill out and let it go”

I honestly don’t know when I became this way. I have an idea but I don’t know if I was like this before and maybe life events just magnified it. I think it came from being blindsided. I won’t get into details but it a time where I simply did not see something coming. It knocked me on my butt and it was something that I don’t know if I really ever recovered from it.

Generally, I think so much because I don’t want to be blindsided again. I don’t want to be caught off guard. In my line of work it’s an attribute that you have to have. You need to know what a kid’s motive is, what they are thinking and what they might do next. Constantly you have to analyzing people, situations and what the next step is. I want know where things stand. I want to know plans and objectives. I don’t want surprises. Don’t get me wrong, I like nice surprises like gifts and things, but it’s those life surprises that you don’t see coming and that mess you up. Those are the ones I try and guard against. It’s so hard to do.

I know that I can’t stop everything that could ever happen to me, but I’m serious because I think deep down, if I relax too much or get too comfortable again, I’ll get blindsided. I know my over analyzing, over thinking, constant planning, and pushing turns people off and probably wears people down. It’s something I have to work on. Turning it off. Turning off that part of brain that wants answers and wanting them now. How do I do this? I’ll have to think about and let you know.