I can’t imagine

Tonight I let Toby stay up late. No school, no work, why not? He watched his shows on the kindle. I watched mine on the tv. He would randomly come up and jump on my lap and kiss my face all over and then run away. I would leave the room and he would find an excuse to follow. When I put him to bed he was whinny and wanted someone “big” to lay down with him, so I laid in his bed for a few minutes. Later I went in and put an extra blanket on him because he feels the need to sleep with a fan blowing on him. Throughout tonight the same thought pulsated through my head: I couldn’t imagine whipping him with a switch and leaving cuts and bruises on his legs.

Tonight it came out that Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings is being accused of child abuse. He admitted taking a switch from a tree and hitting his 4 yr old son with it repeatedly. Full disclosure, I’ve smacked Toby’s butt on a few occasions and popped him in the mouth when he has yelled and talked back. However, I could not imagine beating him with a belt or a switch. I couldn’t imagine hitting hard enough to leave cuts, welts and bruises. It’s just simply something I wouldn’t do.

One of the phrases I always tell my kids at work is “just because something always was doesn’t mean it has to continue.” I use segregation as an example. About how blacks, “colored” couldn’t drink from the same water fountains as white. Things have changed and progressed. The response from my friends have varied about the Adrian Peterson incident. Some have said “well if that’s the case my parents should be in jail” or “he (Adrian Peterson) should be shot” and “that’s what happened to me as a kid, I don’t see a big deal.” To those who accept the fact that this isn’t a big deal because it happened to them, I say that just because you went through it doesn’t make it right. Just because that’s how things were, doesn’t mean it has to be continue.

I fully admit that this world would be a better place if parents were stricter with their kids. That kids seem to get away with everything. That with things like smart phones and all the evils that come with it, that kids are exposed to more now than ever before. I understand that as kids we remembered those “whoopings” our parents gave us. At the same time, I look at Toby and can’t imagine at the age of 4, him doing anything that would want me to beat him until he bled, was bruised and battered. For those that simply accept what happened as a part of growing up, I ask what can a 4 yr old really do to deserve bruises on his butt, legs, back, hands, and scrotum? I can’t imagine.

http://houston.cbslocal.com/2014/09/12/exclusive-details-on-adrian-peterson-indictment-charges/

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Squeezing in…

One of the line I say to my kids at work is that “many times as an adult things are not right or wrong but each choice has a set of consequences and many of the decisions you make are based on which set of consequences can you live with.” As many times I as I say this there are many more times that there are times in which you simply have to do the right thing, regardless of the consequences. Too often I think we look for a rock and hard place to squeeze between so we don’t have to make the right choice and we can avoid making the choice altogether.

As people my belief is that honestly, we are inherently lazy. We simply do the least amount of work for the most gain. However if we can avoid doing any work and seemingly lose out a minimal amount, we’ll do that too. We look to avoid situations in which we’ll be put on the spot or have to potentially step up and do the right thing. I see time and time again where the right thing to do is blaring a horn, waving a sign and wearing face paint and yet the a person will find excuses so that they don’t have to do it.

One way I see people do this is intentionally try and find a rock and a hard place to squeeze into. Take a week and observe friends, family, coworkers and bosses and see if you think this is true. What this will look like is the person making excuses on both sides. Building up barriers as to why they shouldn’t do this or that. Becoming paralyzed when called upon to step up. When confronted with it not stepping up they’ll argue both sides and seemly boxing themselves in and will then look at you and ask this “what was I suppose to do?” Oh and the hands are always raised as to signify they are helpless to do anything about it.

I know I am cynical. I know that I don’t trust 99.99% of all humanity and that it takes moving mountains to get me to react emotionally to anything. However, look around and tell me you don’t see this. That you haven’t experienced this. That you haven’t been frustrated with this. Chances are, if you haven’t then you’re the one doing it.