Despicable Dad

So I try and not post back to back but sometimes my mind gets going and I can’t help it. My anxiety gets up and I start thinking about things. Words I’ve said and if I messed things up or should I have changed this or that, in the end I end up finding myself on here clicking out a post to get something out of my head. The thing that I can get out of my head right now on this post is the fact that I am starting to hate Despicable Me. Right about now some of you are freaking out saying “Nate what in heck is wrong with you!?? That movie is awesome!”

Please calm down. My hatred toward Despicable Me has nothing to do with the movie itself. It has everything to do with a billboard I keep seeing. It’s a huge billboard with Gru and the three little girls hanging off of him and then two minions off to the side. In the middle of the billboard it says “Take Time to be a dad today”.

I honestly don’t know what pisses me off more, the fact that someone out there feels so self righteous that they think they are in a position to tell fathers out there to be dads or that fathers have failed so much that someone has to tell us to be dads. I have never seen a sign that says “take time to be a mom today”. If a billboard went up saying that you can bet your ass there would MOPS groups signing petitions to have it pulled down. As a single dad I personally feel like it’s a slap in the face. It’s like a big ass sticky yellow note that says “bread, milk, be a dad”. To me all this billboard does is further perpetuates the stereotypes of fathers being emotionally unavailable to their children. Furthermore, what constitutes being a dad? How’s working 50hours a week to pay all the bills, to make sure their kids get fed, and things they need? Is that being a dad? Or what about the guys that can’t be dads because the courts have consistently sided with the mom’s since the beginning of time? Why do we assume that the state of fatherhood is in such disarray that we feel the need to post a big note telling every man to be a dad regardless if they are being one or not?

On the other hand how did we get to the point in which us as fathers need a big ass sticky note to tell us to be dads? Seriously, where did things go wrong? Why is this even an option? The only answer is that we have is that we let it become an option. Us as fathers need to stop being the stoic, hard ass, I’m not going to say “I love you” after you turn 6 years old, and you get a hand shake instead of a hug kind of dad. We don’t need a big sticky note that says go to work, pay your bills, eat food. Why then have we let it come to the point that someone feels the need to leave a huge sticky note telling us to be a dad? It needs to stop. It’s really sad and pathetic when you really think about.

It’s difficult because the time that I see that stupid billboard is usually after I drop off Toby to see his mom. It’s shortly right after I stop being a dad for awhile. It makes me question myself. Am I doing enough? Could I do more? What the hell does being a dad entail? Why am I taking time? Aren’t I dad all of the time? Maybe it’s just me. I think it has to stop. The assumptions that we need to tell dads to be dads, because that’s assuming there are more dads that aren’t then dads that are. The failures of dads to be unemotional and unavailable, so that this stupid billboard is even an option, an idea. It has to stop. I know the point of the billboard is to inspire, to motivate. When you really think about it’s actually quite sad.

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2 thoughts on “Despicable Dad

  1. Great post! I can understand why it would bother you 😉
    fortunately you are not one of thousands of “dead-beat dads” that pretty much disappear from their kids lives… hence the billboard 😉
    Yeah, some people need a little reminder. I actually like the idea. But I can relate with despising a billboard, they do tend to get in our nerves if we see them over and over and over. Ugh.

    Again, great post Nathan!

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