Dear Toby, (11/21/13)
Tonight you have driven me insane. The messes that you have made, the chaos that you naturally create, and then add to the fact that you honestly believe that you mom is coming to get you tonight. It’s a double edge sword. Do I let you believe that she is coming and then when she doesn’t come you realize and melt down or do I keep correcting you and each time I do you melt down because you believe so strongly that she is coming??
I guess the only thing I can do is tell you the truth. A truth that you’ll grow up with. A truth that right now is impossible for you to understand. The truth is we both love you but we can’t both be around at the same time. That chances are when you are with her, you’ll want to be with me. That when you are with me, you want to be with her. That it will be hard and it will probably get harder before it gets easier.
The good news as much as you believe right now that momma is coming to get you tonight, I believe in you more. That I believe in you ability to overcome this. That not only do I believe in you but I also believe in the love that your mother and I both have for you. That my son is the truth.