Merriam-Webster first definition of the word definition is “a statement expressing the essential nature of something”. Earlier today the word definition was used countless times when either advocating or lobbying against what constitutes as marriage. Those that opposed same-sex marriage used it in away to define their view of what a marriage is. Those that were fighting for same-sex marriage used the word definition to help them define what marriage was to them.

I saw numerous posts about what defines a marriage. I saw posts that said a marriage is defined as a union between a man and a woman. Still I saw others proclaiming it was simply a union between two people who love each other. I found it incredible to be quite honest about how wide of a spectrum many of my “friends” – I use this term loosely because let’s be honest, some of you I haven’t spoken to in over 10yrs – fall on the subject of marriage.

For me,even before being married and after being married, now separated with an impending divorce, I’ve always have felt that marriage to a large degree is subjective. Not necessarily the act of marriage but the reasons behind marriage. We see marriages that happen on a daily basis because of money, insecurity, greed, power, impulse, children, love, and simply the fear of being alone. Too often we forget how important the individuals intentions are. Regardless of the act, but what are their intentions? Why are they doing what they are doing?

There are numerous examples of an individuals intent defining a person’s behavior. Our own court of law shows a delineation between murder in the 1st degree versus murder in the 2nd. 1st degree Murder calls for premeditation, which means that the person predetermined and planned out a act with the intent to kill someone. 2nd degree Murder does not call for premeditation, no planning with the intent to murder. I know right now some of you have just checked out, but please stay with me! The lack of planning and intent has changed the changes the definition of murder. In fact, intent is so important that some cases murder is no longer murder because of an individual intent.

Your intentions of getting married help to define your marriage. Your intentions are your own. Your marriage is your own. Your definition is all your own because your intention of getting married is your own. Too often we let others definition of what something is define us. We let another’s expectation or intention define how we live our lives. My take away in all of this jumbled mess that I just ranted about is that marriage is how you define it. It’s a definition that is based upon your intention. If your intention is to be in a Godly, Christian marriage, then that is how your marriage is defined. If your intention is to just simply be with someone you love, then that is how your marriage is defined. Your definition of marriage shouldn’t be determined by someone else’s. It should be all your own.


4 thoughts on “Definitions

  1. Sorry to barge in, but this sounds Humpty-Dumpty to me. Language is how we communicate with other people around us. It’s useful. Things mean things. It’s nice and clear. If we let things mean anything we want, then language loses its utility.

    1. I understand what you are saying but we also live in an age and country in which our language is fluid. We have “slang” words. Words that have multiple meanings. We have sets of letters that we give meaning to. I think in today’s day in age language is far more fluid than we think.

      1. Right, that is exactly what I’m driving at. I know that language is fluid and words have multiple meanings and so on. But language is a tool to communicate. Shouldn’t it be as clear as possible? I.e., shouldn’t we make an effort to uphold that?

      2. Why? Why should we up hold that? Languages have died and long been forgotten. Languages have evolved. If languages didn’t evolve you and I would be speaking Latin because most of English is derived from Latin. Language is meant to evolve with society. If society changes and the language does not, then in fact we are going counter to what you say. Language has to evolve for people to communicate with an ever changing society. When language stops evolving then I would argue that’s when a society should be worried about a collapse because then they lose the ability to communicate. Think about the word “computer”, 80years ago there was no such thing. Now we have them. Even the concept of a “computer” is different now than it was 15years ago. The definition of a “computer” has evolved and expanded to encompass many items and functions. That’s just a simple object that has been around for less than 60years. Marriage has been around for centuries and throughout various societies.

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