If you are a parent you know that sound…or rather the lack of sound. That lack of sound in which you know your spawn is probably doing something wrong. That chances are his toys are now stuck in the drain if your tub and will cause a slow leak, that even when you are taking a shower you will be in ankle deep water and that you will hear the water draining down your pipes for at least an hour after the shower, never mind when that spawn takes a bath and it will take 3 hours for the tube to drain. You know that sound..again…rather lack there of. That lack of sound that happens when you are down stairs, your spawn goes upstairs… and then nothing. You wait for a few minutes wondering, thinking, listening, and anticipating something. Then you hear the door open and you know…they just went outside…why? Oh to find the bunny that ran across the front yard…oh and the kicker…its raining. That lack of sound.
Then there is another lack of sound. The lack of sound when you find yourself with a house all to yourself. The lack of sound when your mom or STBX is watching your spawn. That lack of sound that no matter how hard you listen there wont be a crash, a scream “DADDY BUGGY BUG!”, or the door opening. That lack of sound, the one when you find yourself alone, with nothing to do. No one to keep track of. No wondering where HE is. No anticipating when the next diaper will need changed, the next feeding will be, or when the next crash will be. That lack of sound is deafening. That lack of sound can almost be worse that the lack of sound when you know your spawn is doing something wrong. The lack of sound of an empty house has caused psychologist to create a new diagnosis…empty nest syndrome.
That lack of sound… causes me to think back to my first blog and the tag line… “Now what?”
Now what do I do? The house is empty, for the most part clean. Bills are paid. It’s a week night. I have to work tomorrow. No NBA playoffs. No one to see a movie with. Nothing really to do. It’s incredible the position I find myself in. I find myself missing Toby. The crazy little beast that terrorizes me. That makes me fetch him things like “Toby snacks”, “milk shakes”, a new diaper. That tackles me when I am trying to read. That causes me to create fictional reasons to leave the room so I can have a moment of … silence. Now I have that moment and more. But it’s almost too much silence. It’s too quiet. Right now the non-parents are reading this and they are scratching their heads. They are scratching their heads because all they hear is us parents complain and complain about our kids. They did this, and they did that, and oh man my kid did this thing. Then when it truly comes down to it… parents… lets admit it… 99% of the time our kid is away from us…we miss them. We get use to the noise, the chaos. Then… then its gone. You know something is missing. Will I find something to do? Sure. Will I enjoy my time of solitude to read and watch a few tv shows? Sure. I will however, miss my son. Miss his laughter. Miss his demands. Miss his attacks. I’ll miss them until I pick him up tomorrow from Nanna’s and that lack of sound…is gone.