Maybe this is it

One of my first jobs in high school was working at a packaging company. It was a small company that mostly dealt with small orders and special orders. The company would do cut outs for grocery stores or folders for small business. There would be times when I had to rip the excess material from the cut out and toss it in the garbage compactor. Your hands would get cut up if you didn’t wear gloves. Generally though it was very mundane work. One order I remember we had, we had to tape gun and fold around 1000 business folders. It got to be a competition between me and the other workers to see who could gun the folder and fold it correctly the fastest. It sounds terrible but we made it fun, for about one day. The problem was after the first day you got tired of doing the same motions over and over. The only good part was because it was a small company the orders were smaller and would change up regularly.
Lately I feel like I am going through the same motions over and over. It’s crazy because, as many of you know, my life has gone through a ton of changes. At the same time, not a lot has changed for me. I go to work, make the same jokes at work, file the same paperwork, deal with the same issues. I come home and its watch Toby, feed him, he whines for 30minutes, then recovers, then watches the same shows. He goes to bed, I find myself watching the same shows, sitting in the same chair, playing the same iPhone games. It’s been pretty much the same stuff I was doing before chaos broke out.
I will say this, there have been a few reprieves throughout this time, for those I’m so thankful for. Evenings that have been broken up by company, a change of pace. Still, I can’t help but wonder if this is going to keep happening. If this… Is it? Five years from now, will I be pretty much doing the same thing? Ten years? I don’t know. Even robots who do the same motions over and over eventually break down. I’m sure there’s more. I just haven’t found it. Maybe I’m not looking hard enough. Maybe I’m too tired to look. Maybe this is it.


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