So last night was just weird. Ever have one of those nights where things just feel off? You feel off. I was restless, tired, anxious, angry, passive, agitated, and off all at the same time. You don’t really know what’s “wrong”. If someone asks you can’t really quantify what’s going on. There’s nothing to “talk about” or work through. Ya just feel off.
That was last night. I just felt off. Yesterday, it was raining and cloudy. It fit my mood. Maybe the weather had a small contribution to how I feel, at the very least it was a reflection. I remember looking outside and it was kind of sunny, then randomly dark a few minutes later. My solution to all of it was to goto bed. I think deep down, I was probably feeling lonely, isolated, defeated, and worried. Too often, for me at least, when I get in “these moods” my mind races. I start to over analyze everything. I nit-pick details and extrapolate from them. My imagination goes wild. I think of a computer just freaking out and the only solution is to just unplug it. Reboot and hope that it was an anomaly.
That’s what I did. I went to bed early. The Black Keys blues rock melodies soothed me to sleep. I woke up once in the middle of the night. I heard a “thump”… A pitter-patter of little feet. I felt Toby climb up in my bed, pull the covers over himself. Then storm inside calmed like Jesus calming the sea.
I woke up this morning and the sun was out. The weather was better, not perfect but better. Again, a reflection of my internal emotional self.