Grrrr… This kid

Grrrr… This kid is pissing me off. Crawls on my head, jumps in my face, tosses random toys at me. All he does is whine and fuss. First he wants to eat and then he doesn’t. He wants to leave and go outside then he wants a show on. Please make up your freaking mind!

Trying so hard not to yell. Hell, I’m trying be polite even! Seriously, there is no reasoning with this kid! And yet there in lies the problem. A complete lack of reasoning. One would think that since I work with juvenile delinquents I would understand better that a 3yr old has less capacity to reason than a monkey. But, no, I still get pissed whenever he tosses his cereal because there isn’t enough marshmallow pieces in it.

Oh and the “I want to hold you”, which is code for pick me up for no freaking reason!! Why? Why do I need to pick you up? Is there danger? Are you hurt? Is something wrong? No, he just wants to push on the door frame. I try and put him down, suddenly I’m the unreasonable one. Isn’t that the best part? They (meaning all children) at some point look at you like you’re the crazy unreasonable one!!

Sigh, then of course inevitably they do something cute or amazing. They give you kisses when you feel like going all Beyonce muscle flex at the Super Bowl on them. Or maybe they pat your back and tell you “aww it’s okay dadda”. Thanks kid.

Of course all you can think about is why aren’t you 18yrs old yet and moving out to go to college? Heck that this point I would settle for him knocking up some girl up, working at McD’s and doing “the right thing” as long as he was out of my house! Alas, once again I look like the crazy unreasonable one. That’s what they do to you. They (again meaning all children) will make you look dumb, insane, stupid, and foolish.

I leave you now because my son, the kid I thought was a genius at one point, is laying across my leg, on his back and smacking his head off the floor. His response is to cry for one second, ask for his mommy (why? Cuz she isn’t here, 110% certain if she were here he would ask for me) and the smack his head off the floor again.

Ahhhhhh welcome to being a parent. If you are one, pretty sure you are laughing out of sadness cuz it’s all true and if you aren’t one… Keep it that way. The world is over populated and we are depleting the earths natural resources, you’re doing us and yourselves a favor.

(Ok, most of this was posted out of frustration and a little tongue n cheek… Well…)


5 thoughts on “Grrrr… This kid

  1. “Of course all you can think about is why aren’t you 18yrs old yet and moving out to go to college?”

    You have no idea how many times I’ve said that in the 9 years I’ve been a parent.

  2. But then, they will be 17, and you will wish they were 8 again so you can have 10 more years with them safely under your roof. Don’t wish away the years, even in frustration…they go by all too soon 🙂

  3. This made me laugh….. my guy only is only 9 months though thx for letting me know what to look forward to lol keep the post coming good stuff

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