Sidelined

In fifth grade I broke my left wrist. I would love to tell you that I did it playing football or that I did an amazing bike trick and almost stuck the landing. The problem with that is it would be a lie. No, my left wrist was broken because I couldn’t stay in bed. Growing up I had a bunk bed with my brother. Chances are you already see where this is going. Well, one night I fell out of my bunk bed and crashed onto the floor.

It was a bloody mess. I smacked my face off the floor. My nose was bleeding. My left wrist hurt like hell. My mom being the awesome nurse that she is, came rushing in and took care of everything, well almost everything. My mom, again a nurse, said I just sprained my wrist and that all I needed to do was bandage it up. So I did. A week went by. Needless to say my wrist was still hurting. Finally my mom thought it would be a great idea to get it x-rayed. Well, my wrist was broken, on came the caste.

It’s was a terrible six weeks. I’m left handed so I had go try and do everything right handed. Some things were easier than others. The worst was not really being able to play. Sitting there watching your friends playing basketball, football, baseball and writing! Oh man was my hand writing terrible. All I could do was sit and watch as others enjoyed not having a broken arm.

For while now, I had this overwhelming feeling that I was never going to be happy. That I was simply going to be the kid with the broken arm watching everyone else be happy. Watching others get married, remarried, entering into new relationships. I joke with some of you about even becoming a hermit. The thing is, I honestly don’t know how close I came to living that out.

I’m beginning to realize that just like the broken arm, I just need to heal. I need time and that I need help. I’ve been pretty happy the past few days. Happiness has been something I’ve been missing for awhile. Crazy part is that I didn’t even know I was missing it until very recently. There was a moment last night when I was happy, calm and peaceful. That I was the kid playing basketball and not watching from the sidelines. It’s was a great moment. I hope they keep coming and they stick around.

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