Pusher

I’m a pusher. I’m not talking about waking up to someone and shoving them. No, I’m talking about if there’s something I want, need, or think I need I have a tendency to push. To drop hints, drop not so subtle hints, flat out ask. I begin to weave a web of reasons and justifications to get what I want. In my job I need to be a pusher sometimes, after all I’m dealing kids lives and if something goes missing, comes in late, or simply doesn’t show then it can mess up more than just one life.

Lately, been faced with my soon to be ex-wife living in my house. At first, to be quite honest it was good. No issues. Not that issues began to come up, just something inside of me just wants to push. Push back and stretch out. I tried not to show it. I’m sure Liz knew it, she’s too nice to really ever say anything about. I know myself and in a subconscious way and subliminally I was probably sending signals. This is honestly one of the few times that I knew I couldn’t/shouldn’t push. That I needed to let things simply be. Sooooo hard to do, to just let things be. In the end I know that I did the right thing to not push like normal. Sometimes you have to go against your nature to do the right thing.

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