As I have talked about before in one of my posts, I am sports nerd. This week all I have done is watch NCAA March Madness. I’ve filled out a bracket and watched with agony as my bracket gets blown up like Toby blows up his room after I just cleaned it. My bracket is a complete and utter mess. In one region I literally only have 2 teams left. It seems like this year more than any other year, any one team can beat another. It doesn’t matter if you have been a powerhouse for the past 30 years in college basketball and you are playing a school that has only existed for 11 years (i.e. Georgetown vs FGCU). Florida Gulf Coast University. Yeah, how about those guys? Sure you have heard by now, about 10 years ago they didn’t even have a basketball program! Yet here they are embracing the moment.
One of the things that I have struggled with over the years is simply being in the moment. Embracing it. I’ve always been a planner and thinker. I had my college and my major picked out by 10th grade. When I drop into a city I want a map, a list of things to do and see, and then a timetable for the whole experience. It seems like I have a running clock in my head. When I start something I have an idea of how long it should take and then I begin to think about what’s the next task or event. Even now, as I am typing this blog out, I am thinking about when will Toby come home from Nanna’s, then I’ll feed him lunch at 12:30, let him watch “shows”, take him outside for a few, nap time, update brackets…. You get the idea. I suppose the problem is that I sometimes miss “those moments”. I miss opportunities to connect with people because I am always planning past that person or event.
It would be easy to blame my childhood and the stuff that I have gone through, but I think it simply runs deeper than even that. I think it’s just the way I’m wired. I have to know what I am doing next. The crazy part of it all is that the whole reason why I plan things out is because I HAVE NO IDEA what I’m doing. I feel like if I don’t plan then somehow I’ll just get lost. Lost I this shuffle called life. Just another card in the deck. Anyways, once again… I don’t have the answers. If ya have any suggestion… Let me know (aka comment).